🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?